How to Discuss Estate Planning with Family During the Holidays

The holidays are a time for family and friends to gather, enjoy the end of the year, and look forward to the next year. While parties, presents, and food are the usual focus of get-togethers, there are other important topics for discussion that shouldn’t be neglected. It’s just as important to think through how to discuss estate planning with family during the holidays.

Many families don’t see each other regularly. Large families or those that are geographically dispersed may find it difficult to be together at one time. Even with frequent phone calls, it’s often best to discuss estate plans with family in person, and the holidays present a natural opportunity to do so. Granted, discussing end-of-life matters can dampen an otherwise festive occasion. But there are ways to broach the subject gently and minimize uneasiness with family members. In this blog post, we’ll present some suggestions on how to discuss estate planning with family during the holidays. 

Why Estate Planning Is So Important

As we’re fond of saying at Rhodium Law, the night comes for everyone. Life changes in the blink of an eye. Without an estate plan in place, family and friends will have to quickly make difficult decisions, all while dealing with the grief and stress of mourning your incapacity or death. If you don’t take the time now to provide loved ones with the necessary information to know your wishes, the choices they make may not be what you would have chosen for yourself.

You see, estate planning is more than “who gets what.” It’s a process of documenting what matters most to you, and making sure there’s a plan in place to protect and prosper who matters most to your. A solid estate plan addresses both death and unexpected incapacitation so that everyone knows your wishes should you become unable to handle your affairs or you pass away. In either case, someone else must make these decisions and handle your affairs for you. An estate plan makes those decisions easier for them and allows your chosen agent to handle everything.  

Without anything in writing, your loved ones must go through a court procedure to make these vital decisions. If you die without a will in place, the state of Ohio probate laws take over, which can lead to some unwanted actions. Take the time now, as a gesture of love, to ensure that you have an estate plan in place before the new year begins.

Why Holidays Are Ideal for Estate Planning Conversations

Many people don’t think about bringing up estate planning during the holidays, but it’s an optimal time to have the discussions if done correctly: 

• Family Togetherness: The holidays often bring together key decision-makers. Adult children, siblings and extended family members are available, making it easier to ensure everyone is informed and involved.
• A Reflective Mindset: As the year ends, people reflect on what matters most, including family, legacy, and security. This mindset makes it easier to discuss planning for the future.
• Atmosphere of Gratitude: The spirit of gratitude and togetherness can help set a positive and supportive tone for daunting but necessary conversations.

Discussing Your Estate Planning With Family Members

It’s not enough to tell your family members what you want. You must also document these decisions. Anything you can address and finalize in advance makes it easier on your survivors during a difficult period. This can be anything from healthcare and financial decisions to asset distribution and guardianship for minor children. These decisions can also prevent disputes between family members at an already emotional time.

While it’s not something to discuss over a holiday dinner, getting some private time amid celebrations is one way to begin the conversation. Discuss the decisions you’ve made or are working on and encourage feedback from involved family members for decisions yet to be made. Surprises are unwelcome when a family must deal with the unexpected. Having a plan reassures them that everything is handled and ready should the worst happen.

Making these decisions in advance ensures that your family members aren’t hastily making decisions during a sensitive and challenging period. This can include pre-made and pre-paid funeral arrangements, so family members are not burdened with urgent choices they’re unprepared to make.

Discussing Your Parents’ Or Other Family Members’ Estate Plans

If you’re unsure about a parent’s or other family members’ arrangements, ask them if they have–or have considered making–an estate plan. This may be particularly important for someone who was never married, is no longer married, and/or never had children.  If not, someone will have to step up and make these decisions. These decisions may not be what the individual wants. That may be you, another relative, or even a friend of the deceased if no family members are available. 

Without an estate plan, the court must make those decisions.  Many people assume that their assets will automatically go to their children or other survivors, without realizing that the survivors must go through probate court. The court will also distribute their assets according to Ohio probate law and not necessarily their wishes. When someone passes away without a will, known as dying “intestate,” their assets may be distributed according to Ohio state law, which might not reflect their personal wishes. If there are no eligible beneficiaries that can be identified and located, the state could wind up with the assets.

Older relatives may avoid preparing an estate plan because they believe they don’t have anything worth worrying about, they are uncomfortable with the idea of facing their own mortality, it’s too complicated, or they procrastinate. Broaching the subject of an estate plan can spur someone to move forward. Offering help can make it easier for them to plan for this time of transition.

How To Discuss Your Estate Planning With Family During The Holidays

1. Choose the Right Moment and Setting

• Avoid discussing estate planning during high-stress moments or holiday festivities.
• Choose a quiet, private time and place, such as after a meal or during a relaxed family gathering with minimal distractions and everyone feels comfortable.

2. Start the Conversation Naturally

• Introduce the topic by referencing a recent event, news story, or personal experience: “I recently read about how important it is to have a will, and it got me thinking about our plans. . .”
• Emphasize your intention. The discussion is about ensuring wishes are respected and loved ones are protected. It is NOT about dividing assets or prying into finances.

3. Keep the Initial Discussion Broad

• Focus on big-picture questions:
  • Who should make financial or medical decisions if someone becomes incapacitated?
  • Who would care for any minor children? Note that godparents may not have legal standing, especially if they are not relatives. Unless that intention is in writing, the court will decide their future.
  • Are there specific wishes for family heirlooms, other property, or charitable giving?
• Mention the importance of key documents like wills, powers of attorney, and healthcare directives, but don’t feel pressured to cover every legal detail in one sitting.

4. Encouraging Openness and Transparency

• Invite family members to share their thoughts, questions, or concerns.
• Set ground rules for respectful, judgment-free discussion to avoid misunderstandings or emotional clashes.

5. Offer Support and Next Steps

• Reassure loved ones that the goal is to reduce future stress and avoid confusion.
• Suggest involving a trusted estate planning attorney to help formalize decisions and answer legal questions.

More Tips for a Productive Estate Planning Conversation

• Be Patient: Recognize that some family members may need time to process the suggestion, because they may be uncomfortable at first.
• Listen Actively: Acknowledge concerns and respond with empathy.
• Avoid Details on Asset Values: Focus on structure and intent, not dollar amounts or specific inheritances.
• Frame as a Gift: Emphasize that estate planning is a way to care for and protect the family, not just a legal task.
• Follow-up: Treat the first conversation as a starting point. Plan for future discussions and legal steps as needed.

How A Cleveland Estate Planning Attorney Can Help

An estate planning lawyer can help you in several ways throughout the estate planning and administration process:

• Offer personalized legal guidance
• Draft and validate documents
• Asset protection and tax planning
• Coordinate beneficiary designations
• Avoid probate and streamline administration
• Provide guidance on family dispute resolution, including mediation and arbitration if necessary
• Offer ongoing support and updates

An estate plan isn’t a one-time venture. You should regularly review your estate plan to ensure that it is current and reflects your wishes according to your current situation.

Working with an estate planning lawyer offers peace of mind, legal protection, and practical solutions for both simple and complex estates, helping you safeguard your legacy and support your loved ones.

Start Your Estate Planning Journey Today

Rhodium Law is ready to help you create your will and craft a tailored estate plan for you, your family, and your situation. Estate planning doesn’t have to be difficult. By approaching estate planning with care, clarity, and the right timing, families can turn holiday gatherings into opportunities to strengthen their legacy and peace of mind for the future.

Don’t wait until it’s too late. Contact us to schedule a free consultation and learn how we can help you create a plan that reflects your values and supports your community for generations to come.